Guests lists can cause a lot of stress for couples when planning their wedding. Often, the number can go up and up and up until you're planning a wedding for many more people than you expected to (especially if you're taking input from parents, friends and family).
If you're going through this process right now - I understand the stress you may be under, and please know that you are not alone!
In this blog post, I'll run though what I think is the best way to first approach your guest list. I'm not saying this is all you'll ever do towards your guest list, as you may need to employ some additional strategies to get the numbers to where you want them, but it is a great start.
If you go at it with an open perspective and mindset, cutting your wedding guest list down to a number that you're happy with doesn't have to be super stressful or cause too much drama. So let's get into it!
How to approach a wedding guest list
When you first start to look at your guest list, I recommend taking a step back and revisiting the vision for your wedding, your priorities, and your budget. These things are essential to ensure you continue to make the right decisions for you as a couple throughout the entire planning process.
Keep your vision, priorities and budget in the back of your mind when approaching your guest list and you'll be much better prepared to make decisions that align.
How do I even start?
I know how you feel, the guest list can be so daunting! But fear not, kind reader, we're about to break it down into easy steps that will feel entirely doable.
First thing to do, is list out all the names that you might want to have at your wedding. This stage is like a brainstorm, no answer is a wrong answer, so just throw any and all names onto that sheet of paper or typed document (you'll narrow it down later).
Make a big list
Start listing immediate and close family, extended family, close friends, family friends, coworkers and continue to broaden it out from there until you've got pretty much everyone you know. You both need to do this. Don't be scared if the list is huge - we're about to cut it down.
Put names into categories
Once you've got your full list, you're going to categorise them into groups. The groups are up to you, but I recommend something along the lines of:
Group A - these people must be there, they're all VIPs and essential to the day
Group B - would really like it if these people were there, they'd be fun, but not essential
Group C - won't ruin the day if they weren't there
Group D - definitely not, I can already tell you they are not invited
Run down your list, putting a letter next to each name. This part can be tricky, but be patient and take your time. Once everyone has a letter next to their name, group all the same letters together (As with As, Bs with Bs etc.).
Count them up
Now it's time to count up the names in Group A (these are the ones who are definitely coming). Compare this number to the vision for your wedding, and also to your budget.
Ask yourselves these questions:
Does the number match with your vision and budget?
Is this list of names more or less than expected?
Is the amount just right?
Can you afford to add some more names to the list?
Or do you still need to do some trimming?
Next steps
At this point, you have a few choices depending on how you answered the above questions:
If your list from Group A looks like the perfect number for you, you can stay with this as your guest list and do nothing further (hoorah!).
If you have room for more guests, you can add the list from Group B and then re-assess.
If you have room for some more names but not a lot, take a look at Group B and see if you can break this group down into smaller groups. Are they all equal, or are some more at the top of the list than others? If it helps, you could categorise Group B into smaller sets of As Bs Cs and Ds (like you did in the first stage, but only for the Group B names). Once re-categorised, start adding the A names from Group B to your original list from Group A, then the B names etc. until your guest list is looking like a good number.
If your list from Group A is too large, you can apply some further number-reducing strategies to bring the guest list down even further
If this approach for reducing your guest numbers didn't work for you, or you'd rather not put your friends and family members into a hierarchy, I totally understand. Check out the post on the Top Ten Strategies for Cutting Down Your Wedding Guest List and see if any of those suit you.
Bringing a guest list down to the right number can be challenging and complicated, but it doesn't have to be. I hope this approach has given you a structure for looking at your guest list and aligning it with your wedding vision and budget.
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Did this approach work for you? Have you got another method that worked? We'd love to hear about it in the comments below.
And as always, if you have any feedback, we want to know about it, so please get in touch!
- Brie, The Little Wedding Planner
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